


baby, i’ve got your blind spots

by delectum



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eye Trauma, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Keith (Voltron) Whump, M/M, Major Character Injury, Partial Blindness, Physical Disability, Post-Season/Series 06, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delectum/pseuds/delectum
Summary: Their first confession goes a little something like this: Keith, desperate and begging under his sword, says ‘I love you’ and Shiro takes his eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the headcanons and art going around a while ago about Keith losing his eye during the fight between him and the clone.

The smell of smoke is cloying and thick in the air. Debris falls around them as the facility falls apart but neither of them pay it any mind. 

“Shiro, _please_ ,” he begs, but Shiro does not relent. There’s no recognition in his eyes as if at this moment, they’re strangers. “You’re my brother!” Keith tries, but it's not enough. The heat of the blade is brushing against his skin and yet, Shiro does not relent.

The heat is searing at his cheek, the violet tint of Shiro's eyes and the pink glow of his blade all he can see. It's only a breadth shy of his throat, one slip away from nicking his vein and causing him to bleed out all over the floor of this remote facility with his team none the wiser.

He’s going to die here. 

He’s going to die, without ever telling Shiro exactly how much he means to Keith, how much he’s done for him. They’ll never get a chance to talk together late at night, race through the desert on their bikes, sit and watch the stars together. 

This is it. 

He can't go without saying it.

“Shiro,” he says, straining against the blade hovering over him, his arms trembling and shaking, “I love you.”

Shiro pulls back slightly, and his eyes widen. For a moment, Keith can see the struggle in his eyes, can see the violet flickering and giving way to the familiar steel grey that Keith fell in love with.

The moment passes quick, quick enough that Keith almost loses his grip.

“ _Just let go, Keith_ ,” Shio grinds out, and his voice seems frustrated. “You don’t have to fight anymore.”

Keith doesn’t let go.

He’s known Shiro long enough to know that he would never forgive himself if he ended up killing Keith here. He can imagine it now, him lying broken and bleeding on the floor, while Shiro kills himself over grief for having done this to his friend. The Galra have tormented Shiro enough. Keith isn’t going to give them this too.

With renewed fervor, he pushes back against the blade and it gives, just a little. 

Shiro sees the fight in his eyes, and delivers the killing blow. “By now,” he comments, and his tone is almost casual compared to the weight of his words, “the team’s already gone.”

_No-_

The team, Coran and Romelle, _his mom-_

His breath catches at the thought, and Shiro twists the blade just a little more when he adds, “ _I saw to it myself.”_

The grief overwhelms him, and it’s like losing his father all over again except it’s ten times worse. He can’t bear the thought of having lost everyone he ever dared to care about.

It cuts at his heart and so does Shiro’s blade. 

It’s burning at his skin now and he can feel the blisters across his cheek where it makes contact, screams in anguish as it sears _just a little higher_ and covers his eye, until his vision is clouded white with _blinding_ hot _pain_ until it’s all he can see-

His breath catches in his throat as chokes on a scream, feeling warm blood down his cheek, in his eye, welling up in his mouth. The pain is excruciating, his entire body one enormous well of agony, and the right side of his face completely numb to everything except that _burning._

The world fades away until there is almost nothing left, nothing except the voice in his head telling him, ‘ _fight. You can’t let it end like this.”_

He’s only aware of what he’s done after he hears Shiro yell in shock, feels him stumble away as the oppressive weight on top of him finally yields enough that he can breathe again. The adrenaline in his blood numbs the pain enough for Keith to clumsily flip onto his stomach, trying vainly to push himself up on shaking arms. The action jarrs his head, the side of his face filled with blinding white agony, and he feels nauseous from the sheer pain. 

His bayard lays a hair’s breadth away, though he doesn’t even remember drawing it. 

Keith lets out a low, guttural moan, struggling to see through the blood covering his eye in a thin film, through the blurriness over his vision. His hands shake under him until he falls back against the platform with a crash, the vibrations causing every bruise and cut in his body to ache with renewed fervor.

There are hands on his shoulder, a familiar baritone voice saying his name heartbrokenly, desperately. He tries to turn his head, needing to see Shiro, needing to make sure he’s okay, but he can’t _see_ anything and his ears are ringing-

“Oh god, _Keith_...”

It’s too loud, Shiro's voice too loud, the rumbling under his feet too loud-

The platform is creaking, snapping and cracking along the base and tilting down into the empty void of space. Through the pain, Keith manages only to grab his knife with one hand and Shiro's wrist with the other before they are tumbling off the side, scrambling against the smooth metal floor for purchase yet finding none. 

Shiro's greater momentum sends him falling over the edge first, and without thinking, Keith buries the blade of his knife into the metal. As the platform falls, it’s the only thing keeping them anchored. His head spins and his stomach churns and he’s positive that if he checked right now, his skin would be pale and clammy and cold. 

He chances a look down to see if they can fall on something stable below and instantly regrets the decision as the pain blossoms alight and fresh blood trickles down his cheek, watered down by sweat and tears. 

His body is aching with pain of a scale he can’t comprehend, but he can feel the black edges of unconsciousness creeping up on him.

In a desperate attempt, Keith tries to pull Shiro up, anything to give them one more moment together, one more chance where he can finally tell Shiro how much he _meant._

Pain spreads like a fire over his ribs and his arm socket is wrenched as Shiro’s weight coupled with gravity forces his shoulder down. There's no way he can pull them both up, he thinks through the muddled fog in his head. 

The only way he could pull himself up was if he let go...

No. He’d rather die with Shiro rather than spend an existence cursed without him. He wasn’t letting Shiro go, not again. When Keith said he wasn’t leaving here without him, he meant it with everything in his heart. 

The knife slips through the metal like it’s softened butter, and Keith watches through blurred vision as it finally gives away, their last anchor slipping free and dooming both of them to a slow and torturous death in the wide expanse of nothing but open space.

Still, Keith doesn’t let go, squeezing his fingers weakly over the hilt of his knife and clutching at Shiro’s arm with the other, keeping them tied together as the harsh forces of the universe tried in vain to pull them apart yet again.

Pulling at Shiro’s arm, he works against gravity to wrap his aching arms around Shiro’s unconscious body, burying his heavy head against his shoulder as they fall. Keith closes his eyes, ignoring the burning from his right, and inhales the smoky scent coating Shiro’s paladin armor for what would be the last time. 

Blood smears against the smooth armor, and Keith furrows his eyes against the pain. It is there, falling to their deaths and entwined in Shiro’s arm that Keith finally lets go, finally allows the black fog in his mind to creep over the edge of his vision.

He lets out a final breath, and with the smell of smoke and destruction in the air and Shiro’s arms around him, closes his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

“Keith.”

It is with the echo of his own name in his ears that Keith blinks awake. There is no pain in his body, no aches or bruises, and he- he can _see_ through both eyes. 

A starry mauve sky encompasses him until it was all he can fathom, nothing but the endless expanse of purple galaxies and supernova stars.

“Keith.”

It’s Shiro. 

Keith’s wounds may be gone but his body definitely hasn’t forgotten the fight. He tenses instinctively at the voice and pushes himself to his feet, but he can’t see Shiro anywhere.

_“Keith.”_

“Where are you, Shiro? Show yourself!” He says, but his voice trembles. 

_Please, let him be okay_. They’ve been through enough. 

“I know this must be confusing for you,” he can hear the ghost of Shiro’s voice say, and the inflection of certain words, his sheer sympathy and compassion is so _Shiro_ that Keith can’t help but sob a little. 

“What is this place?” He asks, twisting desperately to catch sight of his best friend, the love of his life. It must be some trick that the Galra came up with to torment them even further, a mental anguish that Haggar would gladly execute. “Where are we? You-“ 

His voice cracks and the memories of the fight are still too raw for him to even attempt at stopping the betrayed “You were trying to kill me” that he lets slips. “The others-“

The thoughts of his team, his _family_ is enough to throw him over the edge. Haggar won’t have to do much work because he’s already broken. He thinks that he always has been a little, ever since he lost Shiro the first time. 

“You- you said you…”

He pauses when he feels it.

His eyes clench tightly shut, nails dig into the vulnerable flesh of his palms in hopes that this feeling will go away but it doesn’t. It’s insistent and it calls out to him, desperate and longing.

It’s the same feeling that washed over him when he had found Shiro in the desert all those years ago, the same that he felt encompassing him every time he piloted Black after Shiro went missing.

Every fiber in his being calls for him to turn, screams at him to rejoin with his other half, but Keith forcibly keeps himself rooted to the spot. If this is another of Haggar’s tricks-

But deep down, he knows that no amount of magic could duplicate this feeling, could even come _close_ to replicating the bright purity that makes up Shiro’s essence with such accuracy.

He turns, slowly.

It’s him.

Keith stumbles back from the undeniable weight of the knowledge that this is _Shiro_ , the one he looked up to, the one he grew to love. His kind eyes, the softness of his voice, _god,_ even his _hair…_

“I’m not here to harm you. Everyone is fine.”

The silence and space between them is uncharacteristic, an open chasm of lost dreams and regrets.

“Just let me explain,” Shiro continues, voice masked with remorse. “The thing that attacked you wasn’t me.”

It’s a jarring confirmation for a fact that he had already suspected on some level, from the first day that Keith had found the Shiro look-alike from that Galra cruiser, adrift and lost in space. 

“Since my fight with Zarkon, I’ve been here.”

For Keith, it’s been almost three years since then…

His voice cracks when he asks, “When you disappeared?” but it’s something he has to know. 

“Yes,” Shiro confirms, and he sounds so _tired_. “I didn’t know where I was, or how much time had passed. My physical form was gone. I existed on another realm.”

His gaze is sad and longing when he says, “I died, Keith.”

Keith has been expecting these words for years now. 

He was expecting it when he first met Shiro, knowing that if he dared to care for anyone, they would one day be gone, just like his parents. He knew when he learned about Shiro’s disease but this…

He never thought, never _imagined_ it could end like this.

It’s a cruel, torturous twist of fate that Shiro has been snatched from him time and time again after _just_ getting him back, and that even when they’re together, the Shiro that he’s with isn’t even the real thing, just a pale imitation. 

And now- now they’re out of time. 

This is how it ends. With Shiro, dead and forsaken, with the team, possibly killed by their own leader, and Keith, alone once more. 

Shiro goes on to explain how the Black Lion kept him here, brought her paladin into another realm in an effort to save him. 

That’s where they are then.

In the Black Lion’s consciousness. 

“I tried to warn the others about the imposter while on Olkarion,” Shiro says, but his presence feels faded, like a washed out cloth left out to bleach in the desert sun. “But our connection wasn’t strong enough…” 

Only the echo of his voice remains as Shiro slowly fades away, until there’s nothing left of him there.

He’s gone.

“Shiro?”

There’s no reply.

No...

_No._

This can’t be happening _again_. Shiro’s already dead, what more can they take from him? Can’t the universe give them just a moment's respite?

_“Shiro!”_

The purple skies around him are suddenly too bright and there’s a ringing in his ears. It’s grows until the sound reaches a painful degree, until the brightness is all he can see… 

He wakes in the Black Lion. 

He knows for sure that he’s back because of the sudden agony that shoots through the whole right side of his face, the blistered skin of his cheek and his bloodied eye. His ribs ache something fierce and his shoulder hurts enough that it must be dislocated. 

It doesn’t matter for now because it was either the Black lion or Shiro who came for them and-

“You saved us.”

There’s a groan behind him, but when Keith pulls his arms under him to push himself up, the pain in his eye nearly causes him to pass out again.

He does, after the agony becomes too much and his body shuts down in an effort to save himself from the pain. When he comes to, he’s shaking and nauseous. 

With excruciating care, Keith turns himself to the side and retches. He hasn’t eaten in almost two days so his body doesn’t expel much else other than bile and the action does nothing except for jarring his head and causing his eye to throb in pain. 

Blood wells up over his eye again and his vision goes obscured. 

He turns his head slightly to confirm that Shiro is here with him, but where he would usually see a panoramic view from his peripheral, there is nothing but blurred darkness tinted with crimson. 

He can’t see from his right eye.

He _can’t_ see. 

Instinctively, his hand raises over his eye on its own accord but even the slightest movement of air burns at the festered wound. Breathing hard, his hand falls limp and he slumps against the floor.

He doesn’t know what to do now. Doesn’t know if Black, or Red, or any of the lions will even want him when he’s been _blinded_ from one eye. He can’t pilot like this, can’t even fight like this. It’s a liability and it’s going to get himself or one of his teammates killed. He’s been robbed of everything that makes him who he is. 

The person who arrived at the castle ship, warning of Lotor, and the person he is now are completely different. He’s lost a part of himself here. 

There’s a soft purr in his ears when his head falls back in despair, a rumble that reverberates a comforting calmness through the entire metal skeleton of the ship. 

He’s too boneless and exhausted to stop it when his head flops tiredly to the side, the tremors that Black makes in her attempt at comfort still coursing through his aching body 

Through his good eye, he can see the blurry figure that lays prone on the floor of the lion. Even without his full vision, he knows instantly it’s him.

It’s Shiro. A version of him, sure, but Shiro nonetheless. 

The sight of him is enough to expel any thoughts that Keith has about being resigned to dying here, bleeding and alone and lost. He can’t give up. He’s going to make it out of this, one step at a time, until he can get back to the team and get Shiro help. 

He has to trust in the fact that his team is okay.

Keith grunts as he rolls onto his side, plants a hand on the floor, and pushes himself up. His arm shakes and he’s prepared to brace himself in case it gives out, but it doesn’t and he’s able to lean against the wall tiredly.

His eye throbbing in time with his pulse, Keith uses the wall to stand, stumbling to Shiro’s side like a newborn colt. The look-alike is breathing shallowly, and his pulse is thready under Keith’s fingers. They both need to get in a healing pod as soon as possible, but it doesn’t seem plausible with Lotor still on the loose. 

For the meantime, the Black Lion has a stasis pod he can keep Shiro in until they can help him, but getting him into one is painful endeavor. With his blurry vision, aching ribs, and perception shot to hell, it takes almost half an hour just to get Shiro upright and another twenty minutes to wrestle the limp figure into the pod.

It’s only once the glass safety encases Shiro in a protective casing of metal that Keith finally allows himself to collapse against the floor, energy spent and injuries catching up to him. Blood trickles down his cheek and it’s a grave reminder that he needs medical attention for his eye _right now._

He has no way to tell how long it’s been or even where they are now. The wormhole deposited them on some completely foreign quadrant. Somehow, he doesn’t think the Galra would be too happy about treating their sworn enemy for injuries that were caused by one of their mind-controlled clones. 

Keith allows himself a moment more of rest before he forcibly drags himself to grab the medical kit that Coran had all but pestered them to pack in every lion. He shakily reaches out to grab it, but his hand simply brushes empty air. The kit is _right there_ and he can _see_ exactly how far it is and how much he would have to reach to grab it. He throws out an arm to feel around until it’s in his grasp, and in the end, he has to lean much farther than he originally assumed in order to actually grab a hold of it.

Once he has it opened up in front of him though, all he can do is stare blankly at the contents. 

The meager Garrison first aid classes didn’t ever teach them about eye injuries, and certainly not ones caused by the plasma blade of a weapon created by a planet-conquering alien species. 

Hesitantly wrapping one hand around the packet of gauze pads, Keith uses the other to rummage around to find tape to secure it. He’ll just cover the wound until it can be treated, or else he’ll just risk injuring it worse in one of his fumbling attempts. 

On a whim, he grabs a bottle of the pain numbing pills and shakes out two. 

It takes him three tries to bring them to his mouth. The first time, his hand trembles so much that he drops the pills, and the second time, he ends up miscalculating the distance and they don’t end up in his mouth like they’re supposed to. 

It's definitely way more work than it should have been, but it looks like he’s going to need it. 

He takes a tissue and tries his best to clean the wound. Once the blood is all wiped away, Keith leans against the wall tiredly, already exhausted even though he hasn’t even put the bandage on yet. He gives himself a minute to catch his breath, before reaching forward for the bandage and steeling himself for the inevitable pain.

It hurts worse than he imagined.

_“Fuck-”_

The material had barely even brushed over his eye and yet it still burns like hell, causing his good eye to tear up and his fingers to clench into a tight fist. He waits a moment, until he gets tired of drawing out the inevitable and anticipating the pain. Unable to wait any longer, he finally just holds the bandage to his eye, ignoring the burning, and tapes it down as best as he can one-handed, all while gritting his teeth. 

He knows he has to get up soon, has to try to get back to his team, but he’s wrung out and dizzy, nausea rolling over him in waves. Leaning his head against the wall tiredly, he figures that a small break couldn’t hurt any worse than it is already.

_Just for a minute_ , is what he tells himself and closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro and keith are obviously soulmates. sorry, i don’t make the rules ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. Chapter 3

When he wakes up, the nausea has ebbed slightly but he still feels worn out and in pain. It’s not as excruciating as it had been before, but his wounds throb dully. The Black Lion rumbles under him as her way of offering comfort, still steady on her course back to the castle.

Keith slowly pushes himself up and drags himself to the cockpit. Without being able to even walk in a straight line, it takes him awhile. He’s breathing hard after only a minute and leaning against the wall as he focuses on putting one foot in front of the other. 

As soon as he enters, he collapses heavily into the pilot seat and hails the castle, even though he doesn’t know if the frequency will connect from this far away or if his team really even is alive. 

Purposely, he keeps the video feed switched off. 

It’s takes a minute to connect but the frequency is eventually picked up. Without bothering to clear the roughness of his voice, Keith says, “Hailing the Castle of Lions. This is Keith.”

Lance is the one who responds, and the sound of his voice is enough to lighten the heavy cloud of fears and doubts at the back of Keith’s thoughts, one that had been there since the fight with the fake Shiro. 

_“Keith! You’re okay!”_ Lance says, in obvious relief. 

Allura’s voice sounds worried when she joins in asking, “ _Where've you been? Did you get Shiro?”_

Thinking back to Shiro’s words when they were both back in the astral plane, Keith’s fingers tighten unconsciously over the controls. “I got him,” he confirms, “but it’s not the Shiro we know.”

His heart aches as he manages to say, “The Shiro that took Lotor was a clone.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, his words causing confusion and shock, and then Lance is asking the question that Keith has been dreading. 

_“Well, then where’s the real one?”_

Keith closes his eyes, the words, ‘ _I died, Keith_ ,’ still cutting into his heart. How can he even begin to explain all that’s happened, all that Shiro has been through?

“It’s complicated,” he settles on saying. “I’ll explain everything later, but right now, you need to focus on Lotor.”

He sends them the map that Black had pulled up, the red Galra ships marked clearly enough that even with his blurry vision, he can see them. “I picked up the sincline ship on my scanners. It looks like Lotor is headed back to your position, right where you are.”

“He needs to get back into the quintessence field,” Allura mutters, realization dawning.

Keith lets out a rough breath. He's still too out of it to pilot, and the Back Lion is still doing almost all of the work. “I’m on my way to you now, but without a wormhole, it’s going to take me awhile. You’ll have to hold off Lotor without me.”

With his blurry vision and screwed up perception, it’s not like he’ll be much help anyways.

“We’ll do what we can,” Lance promises him and switches the line off.

Keith closes his eyes, the weight of what Lotor had done to the Alteans, what he could do to his team, a heavy blanket over his shoulders. To someone who holds that much disregard for human lives, taking out a handful of people who stood in Lotor’s way would be nothing. 

His entire team would be wiped out. 

Keith can feel Shiro around him, and now that he actually knows that he’s _here _, the feeling is more obvious and noticeable than it was before. “Shiro, if you’re here, I could use your help.”__

__His body aches and his eye is throbbing something fierce, but he pushes it all away and says, “I need to get to the team before Lotor.”_ _

__The Black Lion growls, pushing herself to go faster. It’s nowhere near enough, but for right now, he’ll take anything he can get._ _

__

__They’re going steady on the course to the castle, and Keith takes the brief moment of respite to slump against the controls. He can feel his body catching up to him, his exhaustion wreaking havoc on his nerves but he stubbornly remains clinging to consciousness._ _

__The ride had been silent up until now, but when he hears his teammates over the comms, he knows that Lotor had arrived._ _

__He can hear Lance saying, “ _Coran, shoot it again_!” and Coran responding with a frantic, “ _I can’t! That was our last shot.”__ _

___“Pidge, get out of his line of sight!”_ _ _

__He hears Pidge’s cry of pain as her lion is shot at, hears the growing desperation that lines the team’s words._ _

__They need his help but he can’t do this alone._ _

__“Shiro, I have to get the paladins,” he pleads, a bead of sweat trailing down the side of his face, “I need your help.”_ _

__There’s no reply, but he can feel Shiro’s presence here. His hand tightens around the control stick, if only to remind him that there’s at least _something_ he can do, no matter how useless or small of an action is it._ _

__“Shiro.”_ _

__The team may have survived the clone’s attack, but he really will lose them all if he fails to get there on time. He’ll lose them, just like he lost everything his entire life. He can’t let that happen._ _

__“Shiro.” Even as he begs, Shiro’s words echo in his head. On Olkarion, the entire team had inserted their bayards in order to get to the astral plane, but even their bond hadn’t been strong enough. What hope does he have?_ _

__His heart breaks at the thought that he’s going to lose everything. Shiro’s already gone and he’s forsaken his team. He has nothing left._ _

__No, he has to keep trying. He can’t give up on them._ _

He pours all his despair, his loneliness, the _grief_ that he felt without Shiro into his voice and tries one last, desperate time. 

_“Shiro!”_

__He knows he’s made it because all his pain and exhaustion is gone and he can feel Shiro’s presence like a line of heat against his side. There’s a familiar, heavy weight against his shoulder, and Keith almost cries at the touch._ _

__When he turns, Shiro catches his eye and smiles at him softly._ _

_It’s him._

They waste a precious minute just standing there, overwhelmed from the presence of the other, soaking in each other’s company for the first time in almost _three years._

__It’s Shiro who breaks the awed silence, “Keith, you can get to them. But you must see them first.”_ _

_The team._

__He looks down in despair as he remembers how even when they’re together, the universe still tries to snatch them apart, tries to prevent them from ever having a moment's respite._ _

__“But how?” He finally manages to asks through the block in his throat._ _

__His duty, first and foremost, is as a paladin. And this war has no care for emotions._ _

__Shiro smiles at him again, even though he’s done nothing to deserve it. “See through the lion’s eyes,” he says, turning to the horizon. His voice is reminiscent when he adds almost reverently, “Patience yields focus.”_ _

__The familiar phrase is like an arrow at his heart but Keith doesn’t allow himself the luxury of dwelling on it._ _

__He studies Shiro’s profile, turning only when he sees a bright light cast shadows on the planes of Shiro’s face. There’s a well of light coming from the horizon, and as the two of them stand, side by side, it reminds Keith of the times they sat together and watched the sunrise from the rooftop of the Garrison._ _

__Their hands brush against each other, and it hits Keith how easy it would be to reach and take Shiro’s hand in his._ _

__He resists the urge._ _

___The team_ , he reminds himself, and balls his hands by his side. _ _

__Instead, he closes his eyes and concentrates on how much he wants to help them, how much he wants to get the Shiro look-alike to safety so they can help him too._ _

__There’s a low purring in his head and suddenly, he can see the Black Lion, can _feel_ her better than he ever could before. He urges her forward, encourages her to push herself to her limits and feeds her his desperation to get to the team._ _

He can feel himself being pushed back against his seat as he sees the other lions, fighting desperately and in pain, sees his pride, sees his _family_ in need. 

_He sees them._

__Gritting his teeth, he pours in all that he has into getting to them, pushing past his exhaustion and pain. His gives it his all but still, he can tell it’s not going to be enough._ _

__He recognizes Shiro behind him, leaning over his shoulder and wrapping his hands around Keith’s. It gives him the extra strength that he so desperately needs._ _

Together, they push the Black Lion towards the team, crossing large expanses of space in just seconds. He can sense her energy intimately thrumming in his veins, can feel the wings on her back transform into something larger, something _greater._

__Keith envisions the team, even as sweat beads on his forehead and exhaustion pulls at his shoulders. He pushes her further, faster than he’s ever dared, even with Red who was designed to thrive at high speeds._ _

__He knows it when they reach the team because he can also feel their fear at Lotor’s impending attack through their link, one that could end them all in just one go._ _

__He can’t let that happen._ _

__Black moves forward almost on her own accord, snarling at the mecha that dared to pose a threat to her pride of lions._ _

__Lotor’s ship stumbles back when Black attacks it, and the team takes the brief despite to ask him, “Keith! How did you get here so fast?”_ _

__Keith thinks back. Now that it's over, he himself isn’t sure of exactly what happened. The lines are blurred, to the point where he doesn’t even know where he ends or where Shiro and Black begin._ _

__He finally settles on saying, “I had some help.” It’s a grave understatement, but it’s the closest approximation of the truth._ _

__Allowing the relief of getting to his team to course over him for only a moment, Keith pulls himself together and says. “Now hurry. We don’t have much time. On me! Form Voltron!”_ _


	4. Chapter 4

“Now hurry. We don’t have much time. On me! Form Voltron!”

They quickly come together, and the transformation energizes them in a way that it’s never done before. Keith's vision is sharp and he can see a blurry view from his right side instead of just complete darkness from underneath the bandage, so he knows that Black is helping him out through their link. 

Time is of the essence but he still takes a moment to deport the stasis pod to the castle before Shiro gets more hurt in their battle against Lotor. He alerts the castle with a quick, “Coran, you’ve got incoming.”

He only keeps his attention on the pod long enough to make sure it’s made it back to the castle safely before he’s turning back to Lotor’s ship. With visibility from only one eye, he needs to be more cautious than usual, even with Black compensating with whatever help that she can give.

True to his nature, Lotor doesn’t waste a single minute in attacking them and they barely manage to get their shield up in the nick of time. 

“Hunk, form cannon!” He orders, grunting as the blast seeps away at their energy.

Hunk replies with a quick, “You got it!”

The initial cannon blasts are dodged, hitting only rocks and stray asteroids. 

“He’s too fast!” Lance exclaims, watching as the agile sincline ship manages to evade all their attacks.

They’ll have to get in close if they hope to inflict on damage on the ship. 

“Form sword!”

In response, Lotor manages to pull out two wicked blades, and attacks without hesitation. He’s too fast, and before they know it, they’re pinned against a rock with the sword arcing down at them. 

“Move!” Keith says, and they manage to pull Voltron away just in time.

They move to the offensive, but their attacks are parried away just as quick.

Keith tracks Lotor’s movements but they don’t turn quick enough to dodge the barbed tail that knocks them aside. They could’ve dodged, if only Keith had seen it coming. Lotor had attacked from Keith’s blind spot, from the one eye that was useless and the mistake had cost Voltron precious minutes. 

Keith grits his teeth in frustration, pulling at the controls.

“We can’t touch him. He’s too fast!” Pidge says.

Hunk grunts, “We need to stop him from moving around. Back him to a corner or something.”

“Hunk is right,” Keith agrees. They need to take away as many advantages from Lotor as the can. His impaired vision is weakness enough. He can only hope none of the team notices the blurriness that bleeds through the link from Voltron’s right side. “We have to eliminate his speed advantage. Limit his movements.”

They direct Voltron to a large asteroid, baiting Lotor into following them in.

When his first few blasts can’t fall Voltron, the sincline ship backs up enough that Lotor’s intent became clear. 

“Wait for it,” Keith orders, tightening his hand over the controls to make sure they don’t pull up too soon or too late. It’s hard to gauge the distance between them with only one eye, but he can feel Black telling him to wait, that it not time yet now. “Let him build up speed.”

“Now!”

As soon as the ship impacted, Voltron attacks.

Lotor’s ship sustains the hit for only a bit before Lotor engages the thrusters and manages to pull the ship away.

“Where’d he go?” Hunk asks them, but Keith keeps quiet and doesn’t answer. He can’t even fully see where Lotor might be without moving Voltron’s entire body.

Thankfully, Pidge manages to catch sight of him and says, “He’s behind us.”

Still, Keith can’t manage to see Lotor, even though he _knows_ where he is. 

Gritting his teeth, he tells Hunk, “Hit him with the shoulder cannon!” and passes over the control. His vision is shot and his aim would probably go wide if he were to try to shoot with only one working eye. 

The cannon blast hits Lotor, but when they cease firing, there is nothing there. 

“Did we get him?” Lance asks.

“I don’t know.”

Keith keeps quiet, but he can feel the crawling in the air, the strange prickling under his skin. He can faintly hear Lance saying, “I think we got him!” but he’s distracted with the sudden surge of energy from somewhere to his right. 

The area can’t be seen by his covered eye, but even when he turns his head to see what had caused it, there isn’t anything there but open space. 

“I’m not so sure,” Allura says and he’s right about to agree when something comes up from his blind spot and hits Voltron hard.

They go crashing into an asteroid, their unpreparedness for the attacks causing them to fall harder than usual. 

Keith groans as his head impacts against the back his chair, and he can feel blood seeping through the bandage. He takes a minute to catch his breath before grunting, “Is everyone okay?”

“How is he moving so fast?” Pidge exclaims, but they can’t worry about that now.

Keith straightens himself up on his chair, wrapping one arm around his ribs and the other around Black’s controls. “We’ve gotta get up and attack.”

They swing out for a hard, fast hit but Lotor disappears before it can connect. 

“Okay…” Lance says, looking around in bewilderment. “That time we definitely did _not_ get him.”

They don’t have the time to ponder over that as something hits them hard from the side, sending them flying.

Keith doesn’t have a chance at spotting the sincline ship even if he had both eyes before it’s suddenly behind them and they go crashing from another solid hit from the back. 

The third time, he sees Lotor coming and readies the controls to move out of the way. Keith jerks back, shocked, when Voltron goes sprawling from another hit, sooner than he had estimated with the distance between them. His perception of depth is way off and it’s a jarring reminder to his injury. 

“How can he just disappear like that?” Hunk asks incredulously as Keith tries to catch his breath.

There’s a sharp gasp over the line and Allura is saying, “He’s entering the quintessence field at will.”

“Didn’t we blow up the gate?”

“How is he entering without it?”

Allura is quiet for a moment but her voice is guilty and remorseful when she finally says, “Because I gave his ships the ability.”

They stew in that for a moment, but immediately have to get their shield up to intercept a large blast of power. They try to hold out as long as they can, but the beam is too strong. Most of Voltron’s strength is zapped as it connects, leaving them floating aimlessly in space. 

With a flash of bright light, Lotor disappears.

Keith pulls himself up, groaning. “We have to go in after him,” he pants. “Getting power from the quintessence is the only way we can match his strength.”

“Can we do that?” Hunk asks incredulously, to which Pidge responds, “If he can do it, Voltron can.”

She pauses uncertainty. “Can’t we?”

“My father did it once before,” Allura admits, closing her eyes. “But it’s extremely dangerous.”

“Do we have a choice?” Lance points out.

They don’t.

“We need your help Allura,” Keith says, “we have to try.”

“I may be able to guide us in but I need you all to focus your energy.”

They all close their eyes, focusing on their goal. They know what’s at stake here, what will happen if they fail. It’s something that they can’t afford. 

Keith lets out a measured breath, and from one exhale to the next, he’s already slipped into the mind space with Allura. After what he went through with Black earlier, this is as easy as pie.

Lance joins them, then Hunk and Pidge.

Allura taps into Voltron’s essence and manipulates the quintessence to open a rift. “Form sword,” she commands, and Voltron’s blazing weapon materializes. They fly Voltron into the rift, digging the sword within the small opening and using it as a lever to widen the space. There’s a bright light, and suddenly, they’re in.

“Woah,” Lance breathes, and silently, they all agree.

It’s beautiful. 

They don’t get much of a chance to appreciate the ethereal light. Lotor’s ship is dead ahead. He attacks, but Voltron meets him blow for blow. Lotor gets a lucky hit, and Voltron is pushed back a bit.

“We took a major shot, but I feel fine!” Pidge exclaims. 

“All this quintessence is keeping us at full power.”

It’s more than that though.

Keith can feel Black all around him, can feel Shiro around him, stronger than he ever could before. His vision is sharp and Black’s compensation from his right eye is no longer as blurred or faded. “Can you feel your lions talking to you?” He asks the others. “Voltron is capable of more than we ever imagined.”

Lotor comes at them again, and with knowledge of their supposed invincibility, Voltron doesn’t hesitate to attack. 

The others get more confidence with every successful hit, saying, “Let's end this!” and “Let’s destroy this guy!”

Suddenly, Allura gasps. “We have to get out of here!”

“What are you talking about?” Keith asks her, confused.

“This is exactly what happened to Zarkon! Exposure to all this quintessence turned him into a monster!”

Lotor advances forward for another attack.

“Allura’s right,” Lance says, “We’re out of control!”

Pidge adds, “All our systems are overloaded,” confirming his statement. 

As they dodge Lotor’s frenzied attack, Hunk asks, “How do we stop this?”

“We give Lotor all the power he wants,” Allura responds. She closes her eyes and taps into Voltron’s power, it’s quintessence and calls it to her fingertips. As Lotor gets closer, Allura directs it outward, straight at the incoming ship. It connects, causing it to go flying.

The controls in each of their lions spark with overexposure. 

“Let’s grab Lotor and get out of here,” Keith gasps, doubled over from the power of their attack.

“No, we can’t!” Pidge yells, pulling at her controls, “We have to leave now!”

Allura lets out a low breath. “We have to try,” she pleads. 

“Pidge is right. We stay in here much longer and Voltron is done for.”

Keith agrees with Hunk. He can see it, too. 

“But we can’t just leave him here!”

The cockpits crackle with electricity, causing Lance to say, “Allura, we gotta go now!”

Keith closes his eyes, feeling the lions tremble around him. His heart can’t accept just leaving Lotor here, no matter what it is that he’s done. But if they stay any longer, Voltron will be just as corrupted.

He opens a line to Blue, being particularly careful to avoid opening the video feed. “Lotor’s made his choice,” he tells her gently, “Let's get out of here, Allura.”

Allura nods tiredly, and takes them out.

The sudden quiet of space is assaulting to their ears.

“If we'd stayed in the quintessence field,” Allura begins quietly, “We would’ve kept fighting until we destroyed ourselves. Just like Lotor.”

It sounds like she’s trying to convince herself.

“What did you do in there?” Keith asks her. 

“I transferred the excess power from Voltron.” There’s a long pause. “It’s a technique I learned on Oriande. Thanks to Lotor.”

They all fall into a contemplative silence, digesting exactly what Allura did for them, and what she had to sacrifice. 

“Thank you, Allura,” Lance says, and his voice is gentle and soft. “You saved us.”

“Not just us. The entire universe,” Hunk adds. 

The comes up from in front of them, and Coran’s exuberant voice came over the line, “oh, you’re back!”

“Lotor is no longer a threat,” Keith tells him tiredly, relieved. 

The return back from the rift left him exhausted and the pain meds he took seem to be wearing off. He can feel every cut and bruise with excruciating detail, and his eye is throbbing worse with every minute.

“Right,” Coran begins, and Keith closes his eyes against what he knows is going to come. Can’t they just get a _break?_

“I’m afraid we face a bigger threat now,” he continues.

_Yep. There is it is._

“All of Lotor’s jumping in and out of the quintessence field has created multiple growing rifts in the fabric of time and space.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that unless we do something fast, those tears will continue to expand until all of existence as we know it has been destroyed.”

Keith grunts in frustration, “There has to be something we can do.”

Pidge runs some simulations and scanned the surrounding area. “Scanning the rift for any strand refabrication possibilities.”

“I’m running a few different models now to see if there’s any chance it can close on its own,” Hunk pipes up. “...Nothing.”

“How long do we have?” Keith asks, desperately trying to push aside the growing fog in his head for just a minute longer.

“Well based on the way those rifts are expanding, about 15 dobashes.”

“Allura, you have to have a way to close the rifts,” Lance pleads. “Voltron opened it up, maybe we can… I don’t know! There’s gotta be a way!”

“I’m sorry, but- I just don’t possess that level of alchemic knowledge.”

They fall quiet at that, desperation welling up. “The only thing that could possibly pull that rift closed,” Pidge realizes, “would be a source of gravity more powerful than a supermassive black hole.”

“Any chance we have find one and tow it over here in fifteen dobashes?”

Coran gasps, “Wait a tick! The teludav!”

Keith’s head is spinning, and is takes all the strength he has to focus on the conversation. “What about it?” He asks tiredly, unable to keep up. 

“The wormhole jumps! The teludav creates a brief flash of infinite mass. There might be a way I can overload the teludav reactor and seal the rift. If one of the flashes went off in the rift, it could do the job.”

“...but that would mean sacrificing the Castle of Lions.”

“Well, what choice to we have?” Pidge pointed out, “the Castle will be wiped out with the rest of us.”

“But still… it’s been our home.”

Silently, Keith agrees. The Castle felt like home more than any of the foster houses he had been in back on Earth. But for him, a home is less a building and more to do with the people that are there, which is probably why he never felt attached to any of his previous houses. 

As long as he has his family with him, he’ll always be home. 

Coran sighs remorsefully, “Oh, I hate to say goodbye to my grandfather's creation, the last piece of the real Altea.”

“Coran,” Allura says, her voice firm and not wavering even a little, “begin preparations. Everyone else, start unloading the Castle. We need to evacuate immediately.”

They disband and fly back to the docks. 

On the way there, Keith comms Krolia to ask if she can bring the stuff up to the Lion for him. He doesn’t have anything in the Castle, not after he went with the Blades, but Shiro’s things are probably just as he’d left them. 

She’s replies back with an affirmative.

As soon as he’s safely in the hangar, he allows himself to slump in exhaustion, doubling over the controls. His ribs scream at the movement, but keeping himself straight is too much work.

Keith eases himself on to the floor, lying horizontally in an attempt to alleviate the pain. His eye is burning now with the pain meds completely passed through his system, and it hurts even worse than it did before. Black is exhausted too, and it shows by the way that the vision from his right eye slowly fades away, leaving him blind yet again.

He knows he should probably get it checked out but he’s too tired to even reach for his comm. Eventually, he just closes his eyes tiredly, drifting off even before he’s made the conscious decision to rest. 

 

 

 

He’s woken when there’s a knocking outside of Black’s cockpit, and his mother’s voice asking cautiously, “Keith? Are you in here?”

Keith groans as he pulls himself into a semi upright position, his vision slowly adjusting to the darkness in the room. 

He’s not ready to face his mom, not yet. But he needs to get his wounds dressed, and he’ll need to face her eventually. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” he tells her tiredly.

There’s a pause before the door slides open. 

Carefully, he keeps the right side of his face hidden behind his hair, turning it away from her before she can see. 

“What’s wrong?” Krolia steps inside, her eyes sharp as she takes in the stiff way he’s seated.

Instead of answering, Keith pleads, “Don’t freak out.”

Her eyes narrow in confusion as he slowly tilts his head so she can see the full extent of his injuries.

She gasps and stumbles back when the bloodied bandage on his eye finally becomes visible in the meager light.

_“Keith…”_

He looks away, unable to face her with this glaring weakness. 

There’s a gentle touch at his cheek, urging him to turn his head. He’s too tired to fight it, just clenches his eyes shut as Krolia’s fingers hover over the bandage. 

“How did this _happen_?” She finally asks, her voice only a whisper between them. 

Keith doesn’t answer her, but tears are gathering in his eyes. His right eye burns with renewed fervor and it’s the last straw that causes the dam to break.

Before he knows it, his mom's arms are coming around him, guiding his head to rest against her collarbone. He falls against her limply, unable to stop his tears as he sobs into her shoulder.

A hand brushes against his hair, running through the strands that are tangled and matted with blood. “Oh, _kit_. My child…”

Something wet nudges at his cheek, licking curiously. 

Krolia annoyedly tries to push the wolf away, but Keith reaches out to him, desperate for anything that could ground him. The wolf shoves himself under Keith’s hand, nuzzling against it as he begs for attention. 

They sit like that for a few minutes as Keith tries to catch his breath and stop his tears.

“Keith, I…” she doesn’t finish, letting her sentence trail off. She doesn’t know what she could possibly say to make this better.

There's quiet as Krolia doesn't finish her sentence, and Keith doesn't ask her to.

He buries his hand tightly in the wolf’s fur as he thinks about how long it could be before he regains his vision fully. It’s too overwhelming to think about so he looks away when he flatly says, “I can’t see from that eye.”

Tears spring at the corner of his eyes, “ _I can’t see.”_

Her hands tighten around his shoulders, in anger or sadness, he can’t tell.

Krolia’s hand is a warm weight against his face when she finally pulls away to turn his head, wipes away at the bloodied tears, and studies the blistered burn across his cheek, notes how it stretches up and under the bandage. 

He stays still as she carefully peels away at the gauze, keeping his gaze averted so he doesn’t have to look at her expression. He can tell she’s worried.

He hears her sucking in a sharp breath at the sight, before she lets out another, _“Keith-“_

Too tired to tell her not to say his name in that pitying way, he simply lets his head fall against her shoulder. He can tell she’s worried but he’s too exhausted to care. 

“Keith, we have to get this treated,” his mom says gently. They don’t have enough time to get him into a healing pod, and even if they did, it wouldn’t help in the short time limit that they’ve been given.

When he doesn’t move, Krolia places an arm under his and gently pulls him to his feet. 

He cries out when every wound and injury on his body flares up, clutching at her arm for support as he stumbles to his feet. 

“We don’t have much time,” she says apologetically, her gaze remorseful but her grip unyielding. 

He knows she’s right. They don’t have time.

The thought gives him the strength he needs to stumble forward.

There’s something brushing against his leg and a sudden bright flash of light. His legs give out from under him as his feet abruptly make contact with the infirmary floor, and his mom rushes forward to steady him.

He can hear her calling someone as he’s wrestled onto a bed. Drifting in and out of consciousness, he feels hands on his cheek, turning his head slightly. They’re rougher than his moms, larger and more calloused.

 _Coran_ , he thinks through the fog in his mind, watches through slitted eyes as Coran stumbles back slightly when he sees Keith’s eye.

“Oh, _Keith_ ,” he hears, and distinctly thinks that he’d really like it if people stopped saying his name like that. 

Something scratches at his eye and Keith moans, trying to push the thing away. A gentle hand grips at his wrist and fingers card carefully through his hair. “It’s just Coran,” he can hear his mother mutter comfortingly, “He’s just cleaning the wound.”

It still hurts, even after they give him more pain meds. 

“Krolia,” he can hear Coran say, and he feels the hand in his hair pull away slightly. The two whisper something to each other, but Keith’s head is pounding too much to make sense of it. It sounds like bad news. The hand is back in his hair after a minute, more heavier than before, and there’s something wet dripping on his face.

He doesn’t know what it is, and he’s asleep before he can find out. 

 

 

His mom shakes him awake a few minutes later. 

“It’s time to go,” she tells him gently as he blinks blearily, momentarily confused at why his right eye seems to be shut. He raises a shaky hand and feels the smooth fabric of the bandage wrapped on his eye and the burn on his cheek.

He’s completely numb, not feeling any of the bruises on his body or his eye.

They must have given him medication to help with the pain, and judging by the way he can’t feel his limbs properly, it was probably stronger than the pills they had stored in the lion’s. 

His mom helps him off of the bed, the wolf nudging against his leg and whining worriedly at his distress. She places a hand against his fur and suddenly, they’re back in the Black lion’s cockpit. 

Keith’s grip on her arm tightens as a wave of dizziness hits but it passes soon enough. 

“Can you pilot?” His mom asks him, eyes sharp in her worry as she watches him stumble to his seat. 

Tiredly, he nods. He can, but he won’t be much good at it.

He eases himself on the chair, knowing that the others have already left. As he guides Black out of the hangar, he turns his head slightly and asks his mom from over his shoulder, “Shiro?”

She places a comforting hand on his shoulder. Her voice is gentle when she tells him reassuringly, “I got him.”

He nods, pushing the lion further until she can join her sisters in their escape. Despite the fact that they were expecting it, the explosion still takes them by surprise, and they’re nowhere close enough to avoiding it completely. They all brace themselves as the first wave of heat causes the lions to tremble, and the second aftershock propels them forward slightly.

When they turn back to see, the rift is closed and there is nothing but dark empty space speckled with stars. 

“It worked,” Hunk breathes in surprise. 

_“Thank you_ , Coran.”

They all turn their lions when they hear Hunk calling their attention with an awed, “Look,” and moves his lion back from the direction they came from. There’s something glittering in the distance, reflecting the stars.

“What is it?”

Hunk says with reverence, “It’s a diamond. The pressure crushed the Castle of Lions into this small diamond,” and catches the object in the maw of his lion.

“Well, we saved all realities everywhere.” Lance sounds downcast and lost. “What do you guys want to do now?”

Krolia turns to look at him when he straightens in his seat, pushes the lion just a bit harder, and says, “We need to find someplace to land and see if there’s some way we can help Shiro.” He leads the team into a galaxy to find a suitable planet and the rest of the team follow without hesitation.

Krolia points out a planet that has a breathable atmosphere, and they touch down at the surface. It’s empty, with nothing but rocks and mountains. 

He ignores Krolia’s disapproving glance when she sees him lift Shiro out from the pod, and his arms shake only a little as he carries him out. 

There’s no pain, only detached numbness, but he guesses he’ll feel it later when the medication wears off. It’s a problem for later, he thinks, after they’ve done all they can to help Shiro. 

He trips on the way, twice, but stubbornness helps him keep his balance. When he sets Shiro down, he keeps a hand under his head, unwilling to let him rest his head upon the bed of rocks.

Keith sees the way the team glances at his bandaged eye- in curiosity or horror he can’t tell- but he ignores them, and they forget soon enough when he tells them, voice rough, “This body is barely living, but Shiro’s spirit is still alive.”

Even though this Shiro isn’t the real one, the reminder that he’s almost lost _both_ of them sends a wave of despair over him. It might not have been _his_ Shiro, but the thought of any of them going through such horrible circumstances makes his heart ache in regret. 

“It’s inside the Black Lion,” he confesses quietly, “I’ve heard him talking to me.”

Lance draws in a sharp breath, stumbles back a step, “He… he tried to tell but I-I didn’t realize.” He falls to his knees beside Shiro, tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Shiro. I- I didn’t know. I could’ve-” the tears fall down his cheeks as he sobs.

Allura steps forward and places a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder. She stands up, and Keith has to tear his gaze away from Shiro to watch as she walks over to the Black Lion and places her hands on its lowered head. 

Its eyes glow yellow as purple streaks travel along its crevices and melded pieces, gathering at Allura’s hands. Even though Keith is a few feet away, he can still sense Shiro’s essence as if he were right there. He dares to hope, only for a moment that Shiro will be okay. 

They watch in awe as Allura carries the purple glow with her, kneels by Shiro’s prone form, and places her hands on his forehead. Keith places a steadying hand against Shiro’s chest as the light travels down into his body, glowing brightly just like his spirit. 

The glow eventually fades away, and Allura pulls her hands back. There’s a terrifying moment where they all watch as Shiro stays absolutely still and despair bubbles up at the thought that they _failed_. 

Suddenly, his eyes fly open and Shiro sits up with a gulp of air, choking and gasping. He loses momentum and his eyes droop in exhaustion.

Keith grunts as Shiro falls against him, but he doesn’t hesitate in wrapping an arm around Shiro’s shoulder to support him and setting the other hand lightly against his chest plate, just to make sure he really is breathing. 

Steady breaths rise and fall under his hand, a reassuring movement that causes the heavy weight over his shoulders to lessen.

Behind them, the Black Lion roars in pride, the other lions joining in. 

The team is laughing and cheering and Keith smiles at them fondly, the heavy burden that was crushing at his chest finally lifting as he allows himself to join in this celebration, just this once. 

“You found me,” he hears, in Shiro’s raspy and exhausted voice, and his attention is instantly drawn away from the team. 

Keith smiles down at him softly, but he's careful to keep the right side of his face as hidden as he can. “We’re glad your back, Shiro,” he says, voice cracking from the sheer amount of joy that he’s feeling. ‘ _I’m_ glad you’re back,’ is what he thinks, but he doesn’t dare voice it out loud. 

Behind him, Allura tells Shiro fondly, “Rest.”

Obediently, Shiro’s eyes fall shut, the smile still faint on his lips. Keith presses a hand against the side of his head, encouraging him to rest against Keith’s shoulder.

In the distance, he hears Hunk say, “So what are we gonna do? The Castle is destroyed.”

“There’s only one place that has the plans necessary to build a replacement for the Castle of Lions,” Pidge remembers as she pushes herself onto her feet, “Coran gave them to my dad.”

They all smile at what that means, and Keith tightens his hand over Shiro’s shoulder when he croaks, “We’re going home.”

What the rest of the team doesn’t know is that he’s already home, that he has his _whole world_ right in his arms. 

Krolia comes up behind him and sets a firm hand at his shoulder. He knows he doesn’t have the energy to even push himself to his feet right now, which is why he doesn’t argue when his mom lifts Shiro in her arms and carries him to the Black Lion, instead watching tiredly at her retreating back until she vanishes out of sight. 

It seems like now that he's not worrying about Shiro anymore, his body takes the chance to remind him exactly what he's been through the past few hours. 

Now that he has Shiro back and the battle is over, his body shakes with the loss of adrenaline and he feels dizzy and nauseous. Leaning his weight against the arm that’s braced against the rocky ground, Keith doubles over and tries to catch his breath.

He’s not in pain but he does feel the beginnings of a slight prickle under his skin, as if he’s overheating and it’s hard to breathe through the tightness of his chest. There’s someone kneeling in front of him and asking him what’s wrong, if he’s alright. 

He recognizes Coran’s footsteps when he makes his way over and his voice when he tell them to back off and give him some space, and Pidge’s voice too when she worriedly asks what’s wrong with him.

The all back away immediately when Krolia comes back and kneels down at his side. She presses a cool hand against his forehead and he almost sighs in relief. He slumps forward, burying his head in his mom’s shoulder. 

A hand comes up and cups the back of his head. He can feel the vibrations as she talks, hears her say, “-he’s burning up.”

“Is it because of what happened to his eye?” Someone else hesitantly asks but he’s too out of it to even think about identifying the voice. 

Sturdy arms lift him up and he's too tired to fight it.

“-get him into bed,” he hears faintly, along with a chorus of concerned exclamations from his team. 

It hits him then with dizzying force that after two years, he's finally been properly reunited with his team. Keith smiles faintly through his exhaustion. 

It's good to be back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith goes through a confusing and difficult time

It's hard to concentrate through the pain. 

The ground feels unusually rough under his feet, the curvature of every small pebble and the rough edges of every sharp rock digging into the sole of his shoes. The atomposhere of the planet is saturated with too much water, making his skin clammy with sweat.

A little ways off, Hunk fills the silence with nervous chatter as he stands in front of the fire, dropping various local vegetables into a large pot of soup. 

It's all one big blur of noise. 

Shakily, Keith sets down his cup of tea and presses the heel of his palm against his forehead to alleviate the headache and nausea that's building up.

The action does nothing to soothe the pain and at the moment, all he feels like doing is burrowing himself in a blanket and sleeping for the next week. Hazy and distant, everything is disconnected in a way that makes him seem like he's not the one occupying his own body, like this life is someone else’s.

A gentle touch presses in against the inner skin of his elbow and Hunk is suddenly there in front of him, asking him if he's alright. 

He's not. 

His eye is aching, his ribs hurt, he feels like throwing up, and Shiro still hasn't woken up. 

Keith doesn't realize he's tearing up until Hunk is pulling him into a careful hug. 

Since the time that they've known him, the team has never seen him like this and he himself has never felt so weak in front of them before. It's startlingly new, this form of casual comfort between them. 

He's supposes it's because this is the first time he allowed himself to be so vulnerable around them. It had started earlier that day, when he had just gotten so exhausted at having his walls up all the time that he just couldn’t be bothered to try hiding anymore. 

He had woken up that morning, in pain and starving, surrounded by his sleeping teammates. They had all set up camp at the planet, too tired from the fight with Lotor to begin their journey home right away. 

Lance had been the only one awake when Keith came to, and the rest were either sleeping or scouting for food and possible enemy threats.

The blue paladin had startled when he saw that Keith was awake and he immediately scrambled to his side, exclaiming in relief, “Keith! You're okay!”

Keith grunted, the throbbing encompassing his entire body begging to differ. He turned to his side and pushed himself up until he was upright, rubbing a hand across his eyes to chase the sleep away.

The sudden and unexpected burst of pain from the right side of his face caused him to let out a choked yell. Hands were prying his fingers away from his face, and he could hear Lance’s voice saying, “Hey, man, be careful! Your hurt your eye really badly!”

Gritting his teeth, Keith pulled away slightly, studying Lance’s expression. He looked nervous, wringing his hands and biting his lips. 

“How badly?” Keith had asked carefully, frowning when Lance ran a hand through his hair and averted his eyes. Five minutes before the imminent destruction of the Castle definitely wasn’t sufficient time to assess the extent of his injuries, but they must have checked his wounds while he was out and seen how bad the damage was. Lance, however, was less than helpful.

“It was- it was really bad.”

He was hiding something but Keith was too sore to push the matter any more. He already knew what had happened and didn't need further confirmation.

There was a tense silence between them, neither of them knowing what to say.

Finally, Lance sat down next to him and softly asked, “...Are you okay? What happened out there?”

 _So much_ , Keith thought, closing his eyes against the sudden onslaught of emotions. He was mentally drained, having gone right from one shocking obstacle to the next for the past two years, between Lotor and the Alteans and his _mom_ , and at that moment, it all came flooding back. 

Lance fell quiet for a moment, contemplative and unaware of Keith’s thoughts as realization spread over his features. 

“...Was it Shiro?” 

It was said in a low whisper, as if the thought was too horrific to voice aloud, or maybe it was some sort of secret that wasn't supposed to get out. 

Keith silence was answer enough. 

There was a sharp intake of breath, and Lance ran his hand through his hair in agitation. 

“Don't,” Keith told him harshly, “It wasn't his fault.”

“Keith-”

_“Stop.”_

Raising his hands in the air placatingly, Lance shot him an apologetic look. He looked genuinely sorry. Grudgingly, Keith accepted the silent offering for forgiveness, but made no further attempts to continue the conversation.

Silence befell the campsite, the only noises the soft snoring of their teammates and the crackling of the fire they had started for warmth and to ward away any wandering creatures. 

“You never told us what happened to the real Shiro,” Lance commented after a few minutes had passed, scuffing his boot against the rocky surface to displace a few pebbles. 

Keith was quiet for a moment, studying the bruises and cuts on his knuckles. Finally, he curled his hands into fists and whispered, “He died.”

It was obvious from Lance’s wide eyes and opened mouth that that was not what he was expecting. To his credit, he didn't start demanding answers or sputtering in disbelief, but it was clear he wanted elaboration.

“It was after the battle with Zarkon.” 

“You mean…?”

“Yeah.”

Keith rubbed a hand over his face, learning from his mistakes earlier and avoiding the entire right side completely. “The Black Lion- he said it, I don’t know, absorbed his soul or something and that he was there for-”

Something clogged the back of his throat, preventing him from voicing the last half of the sentence. How long had Shiro suffered, alone and vulnerable? 

“I spent _months_ looking for him,” he choked out, tears springing at the corner of his eye, “and he was _right there_. I could even _feel him_ with me and I still just- left him there when he _needed_ me.”

Lance shuffled closer, hovering hesitantly. Finally, he reached out and covered one of Keith’s bruised hand with his own. The weight settled awkwardly, both of them unused to this open vulnerability around each other. 

“I know how you feel,” Lance said quietly, his gaze distant. “Shiro tried to tell me, back on Olkarion. And then after, he- he came and told me that he was getting weird headaches and that he didn’t feel like himself…”

He picked up a rock with his other hand and studied it, trying to give himself a distraction as he admitted, “I knew something was wrong, but I just- ignored it. Hoped it would go away.”

Shaking his head, he finally turned to look Keith in the eye, curling a finger around one of Keith’s. “My point is, we can keep blaming ourselves forever. Thinking about where we went wrong or what we could do different. But… think about it this way. We could have found out about Shiro sooner, but then what? Honestly, the way things worked out may not have been ideal, but in the end, it did work out. We have him back now. And it’s all thanks to you.”

They were both quiet for a moment, until Keith pulled his hand out from under Lance’s and covered his eyes, trying to hide his tears. 

Lance scooted forward and wrapped a hand around his wrist, gently pulling his arm down. He crouched down in front of Keith, ducking his head down so he could catch his eye. His gaze flickered as he tried to avoid looking at the bandage. 

“It’s okay to cry,” he whispered between them, his gaze sad as he watched their strong and composed leader break down into sobs. “It’s _okay_.”

When Lance pulled him into his arms, Keith was still for a second, before hesitantly wrapping his arms around his teammate and sagging into his hold. “I'm so _tired_ ,” Keith gasped, “I _never wanted this._ I never volunteered for this, _Shiro_ never volunteered for this and the universe just keeps taking and taking and _taking-”_

Lance is quiet, but his gaze is sharp with the type of sadness that couldn’t be taken away with just words. 

“He never wanted this. You should have seen how excited he was before Kerberos. It was his dream to just- fly one last time. And then he got stuck in this war and then he- he _died_ and it’s not _fair.”_

Lance looks at him sadly with something knowing in his eyes, “Is that really what this about? Shiro?”

“Yes.” Keith scrubbed at his eyes, “No.” Because it wasn't or at least not entirely. It was more than just his anger at what Shiro had been through, and it was all due to the selfish nature of his thoughts. It was a way of thinking that had been beaten out of him early on in his childhood. He wasn't allowed to want things, wasn't allowed to complain if things got difficult or tough unless is was on someone else's behalf. 

Keith was quiet for a second, trying to articulate his anger, his _grief._

“I’m-I’m just… tired of- of losing everything. Of losing _him _and-and losing _everything_ and now I- I’m useless. I can’t pilot or fight and I just- I’m _tired.”___

__This type of speech was uncharacteristic of Keith. From day one, he had accepted his role as a paladin and took it as his duty to protect the universe. Even when life dealt him the worst hand, he did what was needed simply because it was _the right thing to do_. For him, there was nothing more important, no personal connection greater than that goal._ _

_Until Shiro._

__It was clear that this was where Keith always hesitated, where he was willing to put the whole universe in jeopardy._ _

__There was no way to track how long they had been in space, thrust in a war that they had no choice but to fight in but Lance had never realized how dire the consequences could be. Not until Shiro had died for the war effort and Keith had lost his eye._ _

“I’m really, really sorry,” Lance whispered hoarsely, pulling his teammate in closer. “About- about Shiro and that-” He paused, unsure of what exactly to say. ‘ _I’m sorry that you can't see from one eye now’?_

__It was the wrong thing to say, and it had Keith pulling away even before he could finish his sentence, wiping away angrily at his tears and already building his walls back up. “Where’s Shiro?” He asked flatly, struggling to get his feet underneath him so that he could stand._ _

__Jumping to his feet, Lance quickly steadied him. “Are you sure you want to see him right now?”_ _

__Keith shot him a dirty look and shrugged off the hand on his shoulder._ _

__“Wait, no! I just meant, he’s not-” Lance scrambled forward as his leader’s knees buckled and gave out, catching him around the arm before he could fall, “Keith, you're not healed yet. And he’s- he’s not doing so well, either.”_ _

_Of course he wasn’t._

__Of course there was something that would go wrong._ _

__Keith closed his eyes, slumping in Lance’s hold slightly as despair welled up, struggling to keep the fresh wave of tears from falling. It seemed like even after all he went through to get Shiro back, it would never be enough. The thought of constantly losing him, again and again, made Keith sick._ _

__He stumbled slightly as a sudden bout of nausea left him shaking and trembling, and the only thing keeping him upright was Lance’s steadying arms around him._ _

__“-Let’s get you lying down,” Lance was saying as he led his teammate to lie back, and Keith didn’t fight it. He felt drained, as if all his energy had been sapped away, and his head pounded fiercely._ _

__He closed his eyes, hoping to lessen the nausea as much as he could while he breathed through the pain. There was a hand on his forehead and then Lance, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth in displeasure. “Rest for a bit while I go get you more medicine, okay?” He finally said, pushing himself up to stand._ _

__Keith caught his sleeve before he could go, and it felt like he was talking through a mouth full of cotton when he desperately tried to ask, “...Shiro? Tell me what’s wrong with him?”_ _

__He watched, confused, as Lance gently pried Keith’s fingers off of his sleeve. “You need rest,” Lance said, looking at him with something akin to sympathy or sadness. “Allura will explain when you wake up.”_ _

__Too tired to even watch as Lance got up and left, Keith simply closed his eyes and slumped against the bedding, struggling to keep himself awake._ _

His attempts were in vain, and in minutes, Keith had fallen back into unconsciousness.

__

__  
There were fingers combing through his hair.  


__Keith slowly blinked heavy eyes awake. He let out a low groan as he was weighed down by the heaviness in his limbs and the way his head felt stuffed full of cotton. The only thing he felt like doing right now was turning over and falling back to sleep, but he was too restless to stay still and too sore to be moving around._ _

__Someone leaned over him, the hand still brushing through his matted bangs. He blinked tiredly, and it took a few tries for his vision to clear enough to see that it was his mom._ _

__She gave him a small, watery smile when she saw him awake, but it was a weak, fragile thing that fell away within seconds. “How are you feeling?” She asked as she helped him sit upright, keeping one hand on his back to keep him steady._ _

__He didn’t answer her right away, waiting with his head bowed until the nausea in his stomach ebbed away slightly._ _

__“Keith?”_ _

__Leaning against her touch, he finally admitted in a raspy whisper, “Sick.”_ _

__“You overexerted yourself earlier,” she told him gently, her hand pushing his bangs aside as she placed her palm flush against his forehead. “You still have a fever.”_ _

__He couldn’t think of what he could say to her in response so Keith just kept quiet, leaning against her shoulder tiredly._ _

__Something cold nudged against his lips, and he reached out with a shaky hand to steady the flask his mom held out for him. The cool water was a blessing on his sore throat, soothing the scratchiness._ _

__He put the flask down on the ground carefully, keeping his gaze trained down. Keith could feel his mom watching him in concern as he plucked a long strand of the wolf’s cyan hair from the leg of Krolia’s suit._ _

__A hand brushed against the nape of his neck, to steady him or check for a fever he wasn’t sure. “He’s keeping an eye on Shiro,” his mom told him softly, able to read the question in his gaze, “He wanted to be here with you but we had to make sure he could come get us if something happened.”_ _

__The name slowly filtered through the heavy fog dampening his thoughts. Keith pushed himself up on shaking arms, struggling against the hand his mom had on his shoulder to keep his down._ _

_“Shiro_! Mom, Lance said he-“ 

__The weight on his shoulder pushed insistently._ _

__“Keith, calm down.”_ _

__He fell limp against Krolia’s side, the sharp command in her voice sapping the last of his strength as he forced himself to slow his erratic breaths._ _

__“Calm down,” his mom said again, softer and more gentle. “You need to worry about yourself right now, alright?”_ _

__The despair in her voice gave him pause, the sadness lacing Krolia’s words something he wasn’t eager to hear anytime soon. Disappearing through a wormhole and showing up injured and disabled must have frightened her, maybe even more than the worry he felt for Shiro._ _

__The thought had him falling still as he struggled to reign in his panic. It wouldn’t do anyone good to injure himself further, not when both leaders of Voltron were already incapacitated._ _

__Incapacitated because-_ _

__“I think I’m going to be sick,” Keith whispered, surging forward to displace the hand on his back as he retched on the floor. The action tore at his throat, bile burning something fierce._ _

__Distantly, he could feel his mom holding his hair back so that it would stay out of his face. It took him a few minutes to calm his nausea, and even then it wasn’t gone completely. His throat burned and the stuffiness of his head left him miserable._ _

__Krolia brushed his bangs aside, reaching with her other hand to grab the flask of water, “Here, rinse out your mouth with this.”_ _

__It helped only to remove some of the foul taste still lingering on his tongue, the soreness of his throat too severe for him to attempt drinking even a mouthful. His mom took the container out of his hand, watching worriedly as he silently laid back down on the bedding, his back to her._ _

__His face was hidden, but she could clearly see the trembling of his shoulders, hear the way his breath hitched. Her heart ached from her son’s pain. “How are you feeling?” She asked tentatively, unsure of what she could possibly say to alleviate his hurt._ _

__Keith didn't answer for a long moment, and when he did, his voice was small and lost, “...I don't know, I-” He broke himself off, unsure of how to voice what he was feeling when no words could ever even come close._ _

Krolia watched on helplessly, seeing him hurting and unable to stop it, unable to _fix it._ “Keith-” 

“Mom, _I don't know_ ,” he sobbed, turning when she placed a hand on his back and falling easily into her hold when she pulled him in for a tight hug, both of them crying with shared pain, intense and all consuming. 

__“Keith, Keith, it's okay. Let it out. It's going to be okay.”_ _

“It's _not_ , I- I'm not okay. I don't- _I don't want to do this._ ” 

Krolia went silent, watching him fall apart and unable to do anything to help. Instead, she tried to hide her tears in their embrace, holding him tighter, and praying for something, _anything_ that would help. 

__Nothing did and in her confining embrace, Keith cried._ _


	6. Chapter 6

“Keith, you’re up!”

The whole team looks up when they hear Pidge’s surprised exclamation, turning and seeing Keith unsteadily making his way over. Hunk quickly puts aside his bowl and scrambles onto his feet, rushing forward to place a steadying arm on Keith’s elbow. 

When the paladin doesn’t shake the hand off, Hunk takes the initiative and helps him get settled on a plush blanket that had been set down on the floor. 

As soon as Keith takes his seat, Romelle is by his side, handing him a bowl full of broth. Her hand covers his long after Keith holds onto the bowl, steadying him in case his grip weakened. 

He sends her a weak smile, appreciative but unwilling to admit that he has no appetite. In fact, the sight of the food bobbing in the pool of soup is enough to send his stomach rolling, nausea rising up his throat.

There’s a few minutes where he tolerates the smell, even going as far as spooning a portion and bringing it to his mouth. 

It’s too much. 

“I’m not really hungry,” he manages to croak, pushing the bowl aside before the smell could cause him to hurl. 

Lance and Pidge at least pretend to be engrossed in their food, but Hunk frowns openly. “Coran told us to get you to eat something. Your mom said it’s been a while since you ate before-“ he cuts himself off abruptly when he sees the sharp glance Romelle sends his way. Hunk looks at Keith nervously, to see if the mention of the previous days events have triggered any unwanted memories. 

It hasn’t. 

Keith looked around at the mention of his mother and the Altean advisor. On second glance, he noticed that Allura was missing too.

Catching his gaze, Hunk quickly says, “They’re with Shiro right now. I’m not sure how much you know but ever since he ran off he’s been..” he trailed off, perhaps unsure how to finish his sentence, and the rest of the team looked away awkwardly 

“Been what?” Keith asks quietly, heart thudding painfully in awful anticipation. After his mom’s attempts to avert his attention, he’s more than fearful of what could be wrong that no one is even willing to tell him, “What’s wrong with him?” 

Pidge and Hunk trade a hesitant glance. Finally, Pidge says, “We don’t know exactly what’s wrong… Allura said the clones body wasn’t merging with Shiro’s consciousness the way it should.”

“We think he just needs time to adjust.”

Keith looks down at the bowl in front of him, throat raspy when he asks, “Will he be okay?” 

There’s a silence that tells him everything he needs to know. 

Belatedly, Lance gives him a smile and says, “He’s a strong guy, Keith. He’ll be okay.” 

Keith stares at the bowl of soup in front of him and tries to ignore the eyes of his teammates on him. Shiro could be fine. He could also be close to death. He wouldn’t know with the team hiding things from him as they are, for whatever reason. Finally, he looks up and says, “I want to see him.”

They look like they want to protest, but before they can voice their concerns, Romelle bounds up to his side. She ignores the wide eyed looks the other Paladins give her and helps Keith onto his feet. 

From the corner of his eye, he can see Pidge and Hunk trading glances, and Lance shifting uncomfortably. 

He ignores it, heart beating fast at the prospect of seeing Shiro in the condition he’s in. The black paladin has already survived things that could have killed him twice over. How much more would his luck help him? 

Keith is glad for Romelle’s help, because he misses the larger rocks in his path and would have tripped more than once if it hadn’t been for her. His balance is thrown off as well, making him dizzy if he moves too fast. He’ll be glad when his eye finally heals enough to see. If it ever does. 

Even with the impediment, they get to the lion sooner than Keith is ready for. 

Romelle waits for him to gather his courage for a long minute, watching him worriedly with a steadying hand on his forearm. Finally, Keith lets out a ragged breath and walks into Black’s maw. 

Krolia shoots to her feet when she sees him coming, getting to his side before he has a chance to ask anything. She hugs him tight, careful around his bruised ribs. Her embrace is comforting and warm and Keith has to fight himself to keep from slumping into her arms. 

“How are you feeling?” She asks when she pulls away, eyes searching, “It's good to see you up.” 

He’s numb, and he’s about to tell her as much when his gaze catches on the stasis pod against the wall.

It looks more like a coffin. 

Krolia catches his glance, and quickly says, “He’ll be okay Keith,” stroking her hand against his cheek. He ignores her and stumbles forward, his eye aching and shoulder twinging but all trivial in the face of seeing Shiro lying so still. He’s uninjured, and doesn’t seem to be in pain. His face is still, as if in sleep

He places a hesitant hand on the glass, eyes tracking the steady up and down of Shiro’s pulse. It looks stable, but his unconscious form says otherwise. 

“How long has he been like this?” Keith croaks, unable to tear his eyes away from the pod to face his mom properly. Behind him, Krolia sighs, and doesn’t answer for a long moment. Finally, she says, “It’s been a few days,” in a voice that is frustrating in its mildness. 

There is no knowing how many ‘a few days’ really is, and he has a feeling his mom wouldn’t tell him even if he asked. 

The door to the cargo hold opens, and Allura steps in. She takes a double take when she sees Keith on wobbly feet and leaning against the pod. 

“Keith-! I wasn’t expecting to see you up,” she comes closer and Keith startles when her arms wrap around him in a careful hug. She doesn’t press against the large bruise on his back or his cracked ribs, which makes Keith suspect that she’s familiar with the sight under the bandages. 

It’s not as worrying a thought as it would have been two years ago. He folds into her hold, unable to admit that he had missed her presence and steady demeanor. 

They remain in their embrace for a long minute- with Keith briefly aware that Krolia stepped out to give them some privacy, taking Romelle with her- until Allura pulls back to swipe at her eyes. She studies him for a long mementos, lingering on his bandaged side. She raises a shaking hand, hesitating an inch away from the fabric of the bandage wrapped over his cheek, “...oh Keith”

Keith reaches up and wraps his hand around her wrist befores she can touch the white fabric. “It’s okay,” he tells her hoarsely even though it’s not. 

She doesn’t seem to believe him. Instead, she entwines their fingers together and leans close, and Keith knows her well enough to reach out and wrap an arm around her. It hurts his ribs and strains at his shoulder but he can tell she’s terrified. She’s just lost the castle, Lotor is gone and both pilots of the Black Lion are out of commission. 

Her team is falling apart. 

She sniffles, but despite this she’s says “He’ll be okay.” As if she knows exactly what he’s thinking. 

“He looks okay,” Keith says hesitantly, wobbling slightly under a sudden wave of dizziness, “what’s wrong with him?”

Allura guides him to sit on an extra cot and looks away for a long moment. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers and for a long moment Keith’s heart stops. No, he can’t be-

“I should have noticed before,” she continues and Keith feels as if his world has just started spinning again. He lets out a subtle breath that he had been holding and blinks back the beginning of tears. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he tells her. 

She leans against his side and he holds back the pained grunt as she accidently presses against a bruise. She looks so lonely and lost and it’s the least he can do. 

“Shiro’s body is rejecting his consciousness,” she mutters. “I tried helping him and seeing what the problem was but he wasn’t letting me in. I don’t know what to do.”

He stays quiet, not knowing what exactly to tell her. 

Allura glances at him from the corner of her eye, perhaps waiting for him to say something along the lines of how everything will turn out okay. 

He doesn’t. 

He’s so tired of hoping and being let down. 

Instead, the two sit together in damning silence. 

 

He falls asleep eventually, leaning against Allura’s side and slumped over in a way that hurts his back. She hadn’t woken him up, probably knowing that he didn’t have enough rest and could use the sleep. Eventually, the heavy ache in his eye rouses him from unconsciousness.

He pushes himself up with difficulty, blinking blearily and trying to regain his bearings through the thick muddle of pain. Allura looks up from her tablet when she sees him up, sending him a relieved smile. “I was beginning to get worried. You’ve been sleeping for quite some time.”

Keith doesn’t answer, the stabbing pain knocking any ability he had to speak right out of his mouth. He doubles over and retches, certain that the pain meds must have worn off based on how terrible he’s feeling.

Allura is at his side in an instant, placing a bracing hand against his shoulder and tilting his head up to see at the wound. She sucks in a sharp breath when she sees the way the bandage is soaked through. “Here, lie back down. I’ll be right back.” She guides him until he's horizontally on the cot again, and instantly he’s curling up into a tight ball, racked with pain and trying desperately to quell his nausea. 

She’s gone for a long moment, the minutes ticking by slowly and measured only by how many pangs he feels racking his body. He shivers, and pulls the jacket over him tighter around his shoulders but it doesn’t abate the cold. There’s a scuffling outside, his only warning before his mom bounds into the lion and is instantly by his side.

Something pushes insistently against his lips, and Keith turns away out of instinct, not able to stomach any food or even water. But the feeling stays and his moms other hand cards through his hair, “it’s just medicine, Keith. It will make you feel better.”

He’s reluctant to eat anything, even if it is just a pill but a sudden spasm leaves him breathless enough that his mom quickly slips the pill into his mouth. He swallows instinctively, feeling himself being lifted up and then laid down with his head in his mom's lap.

He can feel the vibrations of her chest when she says, “Wait for the meds to kick in before you change his bandages,” the claws raking through his hair soothingly. He buries his head in the crook of Krolia’s thigh before he can hear Coran reply, desperate to hide away from the pain for only a little while. 

They don’t disturb him for a long time, drifting in and out of consciousness and giving the time for the meds to kick in. Eventually, the pain lessens to a bearable degree, but he’s too exhausted to get up and say so. Instead, he lies there and concentrates on just breathing. His mom waits an extra ten minutes to be sure before she lifts his head, slipping out from under him and sliding a pillow in her place.

Keith keeps his eyes closed, feeling as Coran’s calloused hands tilted his head to the side, and the bandage was slowly peeled away from his eye. He moaned at the tugging sensation, causing his mom to reach out for his hand. He squeezed tightly, desperate to distract himself from the pain as Coran slathered something over a cloth pad and started to gently wipe away at the injured skin. 

“His fever isn't going away,” he could hear his mom say, worried and anxious. Coran covered the eye with a new bandage, attending to the cut across his cheek after his eye was finished. “He needs a pod. I didn’t know how he will get better without medical attention. He needs a proper healer.”

“Where will we find that? The lions are barely strong enough to fly planetside and we’re also on an unnamed sector with no way of knowing where anything is. “

“I know it’s not ideal,” Coran told her grimly, “but we need to get him help. I’m not properly trained to deal with this and it’s likely I could cause more harm than good.”

There’s a long bout of silence, before Coran voices hesitantly, “We could use the yelmors on the planet to get enough quintessence to move out, but I’m reluctant to do so. I don’t like splitting up the team when we are already so weakened.” 

There’s a bout of silence, neither accepting or disagreeing. 

Krolia runs a hand over Keith’s forehead, her voice mournful when she says in a low whisper, “They’re so young.” 

Corn remains silent in grim agreement. 

Keith shifts, moaning as the aches in his body makes itself known. His mom presses her lips against his clammy forehead and tells him, “rest.”

He closes his eyes, and does. 

 

 

He’s still woozy on painkillers when he makes his way out of the Lion. Allura had been watching him, he suspects, but she had fallen asleep on a stack of crates, not even twitching when he had stumbled out of the cot. He lets her sleep, noting the dark circles under her eyes. 

He stops by Shiro's pod, and he would have stayed there for hours if the gnawing of hunger in his stomach hadn’t driven him out. 

On wobbly legs, it takes a long while to treck the distance of rocky pebbles. He makes it to the Paladins makeshift shelter, a flimsy tent of old bed sheets and the long trunks of a local tree, stopping outside for a moment to catch his breath. 

When he finally gathers the courage to push the sheets aside and step into the shaded area, he finds Pidge and Romelle asleep on rolled bedding, and Lance and Hunk huddled together discussing something in hushed tones. 

Coran and his mom are at the opposite end, poring over a large map spread out on the floor. Hunk sees him come in, and instantly gets up from his padded seat and is by his side, guiding him to sit with a gentle hand on Keith’s elbow, similar to that morning. 

Keith goes willingly, too tired to become annoyed at being treated like something fragile, something breakable. He sinks gratefully down onto the makeshift bed, glad to be off his feet. There’s a constant ache in his muscles, even after the painkillers numb everything else. 

A bowl is placed into his hands, and the rolling nausea that wells up at the sight is expected. Keith pushes it down, the gnawing hunger overpowering. He brings the spoon to his mouth with a shaky hand. 

The soup is delicious, as was expected when Hunk was the cook. Keith looks up, to find Hunk staring at him while wringing his hands nervously. 

Keith gives him a small smile, and Hunk’s hesitance falls away into relief. Once he starts eating, it’s easy to push the nausea away. He finishes half the bowl before his stomach rebels, and he hastily pushes the bowl aside. Still Hunk seems pleased when he takes the bowl and puts it aside, absently asking him, “How are you feeling?” 

His mom looks up from the side of the room, ears twitching as she waits for his reply. Keith swallows, “better..?” He’s not, but the painkillers take the edge off enough that he can convince himself he’s healing. 

Hunks smiles at him again, relieved and tearing up. He bounds forward and wraps his hands around Keith’s ribs and squeezing tight. 

Keith chokes, tears springing to his eyes as his bruised ribs are squeezed, and suddenly Lance is pushing a hand between them with, “Woah, Hunk man. Be careful. He’s still hurt.”

“Oh! Oh my god sorry! I just missed you and I’m so glad your okay,” Hunk swipes at his eyes and laughs self consciously, “sorry I don’t know why I’m crying-“

Keith watched him with amazement, fondness growing in his chest. He moves forward slightly, a hand wrapped protectively around his middle, and leans his head against his teammates side. Hunk sniffles and placed a hand around him, careful not to press too tightly. Lance leans against his other side, and Keith feels overwhelming love for his team. 

His eyes tear up and he can’t help the sudden onslaught of emotion when he gasps out a, “fuck, sorry I-“ his voice cracks and then he’s crying, overwhelmed. 

Lance and Hunk press against him just a little tighter, both sniffling. 

They sit together for a long while until the tears subside. Pidge stirs in her bed, groaning as she blinks open sleep crusted eyes. She squints at Keith when she sees him, blinking blearily for a long moment. Her eyes clear up and she shoots up, sheets bunching at her waist. “Keith!”

Keith grunts as he’s assualted with 90 pounds of adolescent girl, but doesn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around her. Pidge pulls back, teary eyed, and slugs him in the arm, hard. 

He grunts and rubs at the area, even though it didn’t hurt that bad. Pidge glares at him weakly and wipes at her nose. “Don’t scare us like that again,” she sniffles, pressing her forehead against his arm.

He runs a hand lightly through her hair and sinks deeper into Hunk’s embrace. He’s so comfortable and exhausted that he could fall asleep here and now, but there’s something that’s been bugging him for a long while now. 

He hadn’t gotten the courage to voice it aloud, afraid of the answer, but he’s tired of running. 

“My eye, will it...” Keith begins, trailing off, unable to voice the thought that has plagued his mind for days now. He could have asked sooner but he had enjoyed not knowing, enjoyed having the possibility of regaining his eyesight. Ignorance is bliss, he had remembered and it had been for a while, but it’s not him. He can’t keep convincing himself that everything will be fine when there’s a strong possibility it won’t be. “Will it get better?”

No one had bothered sugar coating things for him when he was younger and he had grown used to it. Besides, nothing would hurt more than crushed hope. 

He had to know whether there was any hope of regaining his vision. 

Everyone in the room understands his unspoken question. Pidge leans away from him, and Hunk nervously wrings his hands. No one says anything and quiet befalls the room. 

Krolia looks at him, gaze mournful, and her silence is answer enough.

Letting out a harsh breath, Keith abruptly pushes himself to his feet. He can hear someone calling after him, hears footsteps until they’re stopped and his mom saying in a quiet voice, “Give him some time.”

…He’s going to need more than time to fix this. 

 

...

 

His mom finds him an hour later by Shiro’s pod. 

“I’d do it again.” He whispers between them when she sits down besides him, but he doesn’t look at her.

She shifts slightly, not reaching out physically but showing her willingness to listen. 

“I don’t blame him, and I’d do it again but I just wish that it was- that it didn’t have to be the way it is. If the Galra had never come to Kerberos…”

He trails off but the thought doesn’t sit right.

Shiro would have come back to Earth, with thick raven hair and no scars, only to succumb to his illness only months later. Nothing would have been different, but at least that loss is something he would have only had to go through once 

He let out a measured breath, desperately trying to reign back the tears that spring to his eyes. It works for a minute but then his mom pulls him into her embrace and he can’t hold back any longer. 

He’s tired, and in pain, physically and mentally exhausted.

He just wants it to stop.


End file.
